“Ask the universe for what you want.” Great. I love it. But I think many of us find ourselves suffering a certain silent, self imposed martyrdom – a certain righteous resignation of, “I am asking, but it’s not working.” I think the addition of a certain provision to the suggestion, a certain caveat would, when observed, clarify matters greatly and could save many of us a great deal of potentially painful misunderstanding. That caveat, the added provision that I am suggesting, is that when you ask the universe, you gotta ask like you mean it! LIKE YOU DESERVE IT.
How many of us ask from a place of “I want, I want,” in contrast to asking from a fully embodied place of knowing – knowing in our bones – what we have to give? When we ask for what we want, LIKE WE DESERVE IT, we are asking for the opportunity to GIVE. We are asking for the opportunity to be a part of something beyond ourselves. We are beyond our fears and beyond our needs for validation. We are asking for what we ARE READY FOR. When I ask and there is hesitation, fear of rejection, fear of looking foolish, my concerns are about myself. When I step in from that previously referenced knowing – knowing in my bones – I am stepping in as an offering. From here I am not so much asking as I am declaring where I stand in the matter; making myself and my gifts known.
My last couple of months have been full of my asking for things I didn’t feel ready for: auditioning for big Equity productions, or a big feature film with big names attached, or asking someone out. I ask, but there’s that voice saying, “you wouldn’t know what to do with this if you got it.” I’m asking with the thought, “oh my god wouldn’t this be good to be true!” And also with some notion that if I got it, it would mean something about me – that it would make me a more worthwhile person. Well from there - yes - it WOULD too good to be true.There’s no power here – when the response to the request is the determinant in one’s worth, in one’s knowing one’s self as either an offering, OR as the potential beneficiary of some lucky acceptance.
In the moment that you’re asking, “I don’t really deserve this,” is just a thought. Your way of asking and that voice seem, simultaneously, like they are one – like they are YOU – but also like it has nothing to do with your life being the way it is. That voice is YOU, until you distinguish it. Just by distinguishing it, identifying it as a VOICE and nothing more, you get some separation from it. You get to observe it, notice it’s patterns, notice what it tends towards, you notice what it craves.
Referring back to my opening paragraph, another question struck me in reference to the “asking LIKE YOU DESERVE IT.” The question is one actors ask sometimes in preparing for a role: do you start from the inside or the outside? As in, do you begin by cultivating what you need to feel worthy and deserving of what you’re asking for? Or, by simply asking – LIKE YOU DESERVE IT – even if you’re mocking it up a bit for the sake of getting over the hump, will your inherent worth simply rise to meet your requests? I’d say both. I'd say that the more one steps into the world of bold requests, fully embodied requests from a place of KNOWING what one has to offer, one creates a powerful feedback loop, one that generates a different caliber of identity. Come to know yourself as someone who takes bold actions and makes bold requests from a place of knowing: knowing what you're offering and where you stand in the matter.
As always: no is coming to save you.